You can't change people

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

A friend spat the dummy in her Facebook profile update lambasting a recent betrayal by friends. I advised her to save her energy. You can't change people. They just have to learn for themselves how people feel about them and what is important in life. You can't tell people how they ought to behave. If it were possible then motivational speakers would not have any more work to do after delivering their first course. People would have created a better world just by adopting the changes suggested.

But I know from delivering homilies (sermons) for twenty years. People only change if they want to. People will not do what you, me, the Bishop or even the Pope tells them unless they want to do it. So I try to emphasise the advantages of living a life that places trust in God rather than humans. It is also vital to avoid people who display negativity or ‘bad energy’.

I distance myself from negative people who like to complain about things without offering solutions. Sure I too like to complain about things that are wrong, but I am doing something about the source of my angst. Often in my blogs or facebook posts I criticise something or someone to guage reaction so that I can sort people into camps. That is how I learn who I can trust and who I need to avoid. Life is a constant game of personal growth and the moving ‘circles of trust’ so that those who you wish to exclude & those you want inside that circle don't even know they are moving!

Of course the great objective of life is to include as many as possible within that circle and help those who you have ostracised to see the value of seeking re-inclusion.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ― Leo Tolstoy