Happiness is an Inside Job

Someone commented today:

“Hi, Thanks very much for the book suggestion (“Happiness is an Inside Job” by John Powell) will try to get my hands on a copy. So very sorry to burden you with my probs, you have so much on your plate. I have never met someone that has sacrificed so much as you have, you are a very special person and you deserve to be very happy. I don’t know how u have held so many ugly secrets thru the years and still remain a sane person, those evil people deserv to be revealed. I really appreciate having you as a friend. Hope you are well”

This is my reply which will explain some things you may not have realized about me…

Some will say I am not sane doing what I have done. (Giving away the comfortable life and the respected position of a parish priest to marry a poor girl from the Philippines and take on the responsibility of supporting her whole family, while having no job to go to, just to expose something that will probably not get fixed).  But thanks, yes it was hard to keep it all to myself and live in the institutions that I spent so much time in. The seminary at Manly should have been heaven on earth but felt like I was in hell. Also some of the impostors I lived with made my life hell (but I think I already said that in my story). Please dont think you are burdening me. Something Josefina never understood but I didn’t see caring for people as a job. It is my love. And the people I helped over the years, I really loved them. Which is why I did as much as I could to spend time with people and show that they are valuable (especially those who didn’t feel valued).

I remember one night i was just about to head out to a party and a plump girl I didn’t recognize was waiting at the back of the church (it was a Saturday night). She said to me, "Do you have somewhere you need to go right now?" And I regret that I said, "Well I am going out, but I have time to speak briefly." She then said, "OK dont worry" and turned to cry. I snapped into action and said, "I'm kidding, where would a priest have to go on a Saturday night, come and have a coffee.."

So we sat and chatted and she confided that she intended to kill herself that night and she had travelled from Blacktown (where she remembered me as the priest from there when she was a young girl at school). She said, "You made me feel special whenever you talked to me in the playground and you are the only man I ever trusted" Then she told me that her father had sexually abused her since a small girl.

I was stunned. If I didn’t stop to give her time that night she may have ended her life! She then talked for hours. I have to be honest and say that she was not attractive to look at, and quite fat. But as she spoke I saw her real inner beauty and understood her soul's brilliance. She did decide to take the advice I gave her and we kept in touch for a while.

There have been many like her over the years but I seldom hear from any of them and I actually get pleasantly surprised when people do contact me and thank me for something I said or did years ago. I am saying this to just explain why I didn't just go off and leave priesthood when I fell in love with Josefina. That is why I wanted to stay a priest even though I love Josefina more than anything in the whole world. I did have room in my heart for others. I did care about everyone I spoke to who was genuinely interested in getting to know Jesus better. Although I have been saddened to know that some priests have only used their position to abuse people's trust and that is why i could not just sit back and condone the abusive predators I knew occupied positions of trust in the Church.

I do hope you read that book by John Powell, Julie. I know you will be grateful to me for telling you about it and probably tell me you wish you read it when you were younger.. It is really an impressive insight into Happiness. I have read many books on the subject and have gleaned the golden nuggets from each, but I also had the luxury of time to develop a deep and real relationship with the Author of the Universe, so I am now the happiest person in the world. I don’t say this because I want to boast but I am just explaining... happiness is a choice.

No one should endure unhappiness, becos its your own choice whether you put up with an unhappy situation or you move away from it.. Can I conclude this one chat with this anecdote I have said at Mass a few times..

“A puppy was chasing its tail and an old dog asked it why. He said, ‘I heard that if I catch my tail I will be happy’. The old dog said, ‘I just leave my tail alone and I find it follows me where ever I go’. That is like happiness.. you don’t seek for it, it will follow you if you have the right attitude to life. I believe I am the happiest person in the world and its becos I live each day the life I want to live and it’s a life of giving yourself to others. Happiness comes from serving others, that’s what Jesus said.. and that is why I always notice that butchers are the most outgoing and happy people.. They are always serving people! Priests should also be very happy people.. so if you see a grumpy one, he can't be authentic.. steer away!

Blessings on your day!